Human existence not only needs basic necessities like air, water and land to survive but we also need healthy interpersonal relationships. A relationship is when two or more people are connected. However, there are many different forms of relationships such as family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, work relationships and situational relationships. All these relations are unique in their own way but are essential for a human to live and function peacefully.
Whatever a particular relationship gives you, whether negative or positive, impacts your mental as well as your emotional health. This is where the term “relationship anxiety” has emerged. Relationship anxiety is the consequence of constant worry and nervousness a person experiences in a relationship.
WHO IS AT RISK FOR RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY?
- An adult who is insecure and avoidant is at high risk of experiencing relationship anxiety.
- A person who has a preexisting social anxiety disorder.
- A person who has an intense fear of rejection, abandonment or being hurt.
- An individual who is too involved in social media and electronic devices.
- A single person who has anxiety related to the dating process.
- An individual who had been a victim of a toxic relationship.
- A person who has low self esteem and easily becomes emotionally dependent.
4 SIGNS OF RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY
The common signs of relationship anxiety are a shift in mood and disinterest in usual activities. A person may experience symptoms like sweating, fatigue, stomach distress, or over thinking. Here is a list of 4 common symptoms a person with relationship anxiety often has:
- REASSURANCE FROM THE PARTNER
The person will often wonder if they still stand the same importance as before. They will ask questions like, “Do I still matter?”, “Will you stay forever?”, “ Will you miss me?”. All these questions are a reflection of these points:
- The person is worried if he or she will be missed when not around.
- The person might not feel like they receive the help and support from their partner they need.
- THE WORRY OF BREAK UP
Embracing the love, security and happiness of a good relationship can create the urge to hold on to these feelings forever. So, it is normal to have the fear of your partner leaving you. But, this anxiety can be problematic for both the partners as it gives way to a new behavior which is constantly working to secure the relationship.
- The person might not let their partners hang out with their friends late night
- They might worry a lot about them getting angry even when they are not
- They might not bring up issues like disrespectful behavior, for fear or being left.
- DOUBTING THE COMPATIBILITY AND OVERANALYZING
The person may be doubtful if he or she is really happy. They may start focusing their attention on the minor differences like different tastes in music and not the major goals of a relationship. This type of behavior ultimately leads to illogical arguments and distress. The person might resist their efforts and always try to determine how much their partner cares.
- IGNORING THE POSITIVE EFFORTS
Relationship anxiety unknowingly creates a negative mindset which tends to focus on the bad not the good. However, one may be unaware of their anxiety and so a person must sit back to ask themselves, “Am I spending ample time worrying and not appreciating my partner?”
WAYS TO DEAL WITH RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY
- FOCUS ON YOURSELF
As a relationship between two people gets deeper, sometimes partners can become too aware of the other person’s needs before their own. Although this is the beauty of a relationship, getting too involved in a partner’s life may become overbearing at times. Remember, one must enjoy their alone time, by investing time in themselves too. To do this, a person can:
- Explore a new hobby
- Workout in the park or a gym
- Go out with friends
- Pamper yourself
Creating a foundation of strong self-awareness is helpful in resolving relationship anxiety.
- MINDFULNESS
Anxiety often creates an array of thoughts which are never ending. They keep the individual worried about the hypothetical scenarios and can worsen any relationship. There are many mindfulness practices to fight this negative process and help stay in the present moment.
Breathing exercises, yoga and guided meditations are some beneficial practices. They keep the mind in the present and stop it from spiraling out of control when one feels anxious.
- ESTABLISH GOOD COMMUNICATION
One must remember it is healthy to talk to their partner with transparency and honesty. Letting them know about your thoughts may involve being vulnerable but it is helpful in the long run. Once a person knows what is going on in their partner’s mind,they can clear the uncertainties and avoid surfacing anxiety in the future.
- CONFRONT YOUR ANXIETY
Am I anxious because of my past relationships? Question yourself. Knowing of the exact reason behind insecurities, doubt and frustration can help a person recognize these issues and tackle them clearly. Someone may be worrying about not feeling good enough for love because of the way they view themselves. But when they confront this issue, they can control their self-doubting behavior for they have been chosen by their partner for a reason.
- ATTEND THERAPY
If self help is not enough, it is good to get help from a professional to manage anxiety. Through therapy, one will receive proper guidance to change negative thoughts about oneself and their partner. Therapists can teach a person to heal any attachment wounds and learn new techniques to have a healthy relationship. Some specific and helpful forms of therapies are:
- Relationship counseling
- Eye movement desensitization reprocessing (EMDR)
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Family systems therapy
- ENGAGE IN LEISURELY ACTIVITIES TOGETHER
Do some couple activities which will evoke relaxation and a sense of joy. Some examples are:
- Going out for a morning walk
- Yoga or meditation sessions
- Play a sport together like badminton and tennis
- Cooking dinner
- Watching a movie or series
CONCLUSION
While relationship anxiety seems manageable, it proves dangerous if not treated in time. Violence and emotional abuse are some ugly sides of what can happen when persistent relationship anxiety goes unaddressed. Remember to seek guidance if anxiety symptoms persist in your relationship as there are always healthy ways to get help.
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