Achieving Relationship Goals- Investing in Yourself First

by | Apr 19, 2022 | Life

Investing in Yourself for Relationship Growth

Be a little selfish; love yourself to the core. Do these words seem a little awkward to you? However, try not to feel so because doing these would help you build stronger relationships. Yes, you heard that right!

Collective happiness and strengthening of the bond between two people come only when both the people are happy individually. Any relationship works out only if both sides contribute equally and give their best. 

The best comes out of an individual only when they are at peace with themself. And this can be achieved only when one takes good care of oneself.

Sometimes, the maintenance of a relationship becomes a burden when it is weighted on only one person’s shoulder. Both the partners need to take responsibility for taking the relationship forward in a balanced manner.

Relationship goals can be met only when there is ample self-love. You can love your partner only when you love yourself.

Achieving Relationship goals becomes easier when both partners are in a good state of mind; they take care of their well-being and invest in themselves.

Investing in yourself = Investing in your relationship 

Do you often feel flustered when you give more than you get back in a relationship? Do you sometimes feel that achieving relationship goals is impossible for you?  

Is there always pressure around you to give your best in a relationship, and you don’t know how to deal with it?

Worry not, and read on to get some ideas as to how to make your relationships stronger:

Get some “ME TIME”

Investing in yourself and spending some quality ‘me time’ will surely enhance your ‘we time.’

It does not mean that you are backing off from the relationship or trying to run off from situations that may be difficult to handle. It just gives space to your individuality and lets you be yourself. 

It can help you cope with stressful situations, leaving you refreshed to get back and give your best to a relationship.

It can sometimes become challenging to take out time for yourself. However, you can always talk it out with your partner and let them know the essence of this ‘me time.

Ways to do it:

  • Make a list of things you enjoy doing.
  • Go back and pursue that hobby you have wanted to for a long time.
  • Plan out a dinner/lunch with your friends
  • Enjoy a walk in the park, observing nature all by yourself.
  • Go on a solo vacation.
  • Hike up the beautiful mountains.
  • Listen to some soulful music. 
  • Find TV shows and movies you have wanted to watch
  • Shop to your heart’s content
  • Go on a long drive
  • Set up me-time every day
  • Plant some saplings
  • Do some daily meditation in the calm alone

Create some boundaries

Investing in yourself by analyzing your physical, mental, and emotional health. This, followed by setting up a boundary to practice self-care, is one way to allow growth in a relationship.

Setting boundaries and letting your partner know about them makes the relationship transparent and clear. Example: Telling your partner that you don’t like to be constantly contacted on the phone. 

You bring respect and constant support to build a strong and healthy relationship when you put your point forward. And do the same when your partner sets up boundaries.

Shrug off that stress 

It is normal for you to undergo stressful situations and take out the frustrations on your partner in the daily rut. But don’t let this overwhelm you. Try to handle the stress by working and investing in yourself.

  • Take regular breaks from work.
  • Do some meditations, yoga, and breathing exercises.
  • Do things that will help to take your mind off the stressors
  • Indulge in some art, painting, or cooking
  • Take walks and connect with nature

Communicate your goals

When you were single, you indeed had dreams and aspirations which you may have given up or put in the backseat when you got into a relationship. However, those unreached goals can be fulfilled if you try to put them across to your partner.

 Accomplishing your personal goals becomes important for you to grow as an individual. These goals can be anything from writing a book, doing a course, or going for an exotic vacation. Doing this helps make your relationship healthier and stronger.

Learn to say No

Do you forcibly do things you don’t want to, just to please your partner? And later keep pondering over it? 

You should stop doing that and learn to say no. If you don’t like to go to parties and want to enjoy a quiet evening, speak your mind. You do not need to do something that doesn’t make you happy.

Feel good about yourself

Groom yourself. Let the daily grind not take a toll on your appearance. Wear your best dress, and put on those glittery heels. If you like to put make-up on, do it. Nothing should stop you from feeling good about yourself.

Your partner likes it or not; you can sometimes get a little selfish and do things for yourself and those that make you happy. Start investing in yourself,  quite literally!

Bring in some gratitude.

Investing in Yourself

Try maintaining a gratitude journal. Write about positive things that impact you and your partner. Write about things you are grateful for. 

Write about all the positive things that have happened throughout the day, even if it has been a small ride that your partner gave you, to your office. 

You can make this into a daily or a weekly habit. This will definitely make you smile even if you have had a bad day.

Learn something new

Let there not be a dull moment in your life; keep your mind and body active by learning new things. 

You can start by learning a new language or joining a dance or a music class. If you have inclinations toward art, join an art/painting class. Suggest the same to your partner, and ask them to join something that interests them. 

 You can share your experiences and make interesting conversations bringing some excitement to your relationship.

Get that spiritual connect.

Investing in Yourself

A way to practice self-love is to have a connection spiritually. You can practice meditation and mindfulness and stay grounded. Practicing these either alone or together with your partner will help to bring the element of self-love into your life.

It will help calm your mind and bring peace, thus helping to improve your relationship with your partner.


To sum it all up, one can share a great relationship with someone only if one has an equally fulfilling relationship with oneself. So, do not ever hesitate to practice self-care and self-love to take charge and get your power back. For more information and relationship tips, download the JoyScore App now!

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Dr. Bob Singhal

Professor Bhupendra 'Bob' Singhal, has taught creativity by joy and right-brain thinking, is a renowned international architect, won major design competitions, has over 70 awards, publications, and media mentions, and served as President of the American Institute of Architects South Bay. In 2011, in his book Joy in Health and Happiness: Your Optimal Path to Success, Professor Singhal wrote about the transformative power of joy and helped readers learn to enhance their daily experience of it.


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