A Guide To Self-Confidence

by | Sep 18, 2020 | Mind

Craving a freshly baked pizza post-workout is the greatest battle one can have with themselves. It starts with remembering the last time you had a slice or two at your favorite pizza place. But then, remember the calories and all the crunches you are going to have to do for the flat tummy. Horrendous diet vs. that extra push to lift the weight. Which side do you think would win? Probably the pizza!

Today it might be just pizza. Tomorrow it may be french fries. Then comes the burger overflowing with cheese.  And on it goes. The real question is, can you stand against yourself and say no? Can you let go of that little extra but mouthwatering bite for the sake of your healthy body?

Confident Lady

 What you choose is where the self-empowerment stems from. Picking the tough side (which might be inherently good for you) and sticking to it, with a ‘come what may’ attitude, cultivates the habit of having power over your choices.

Self-empowerment means having conscious control over the choices you make which ultimately decide who you are. People confuse it with motivation many times. But it’s not self-empowerment unless you identify what it is that you want in life and take action to achieve that goal. Taking control and responsibility of decisions seems easier to comprehend but to act on it, is where the courage lies. Developing an action-oriented nature is not possible overnight. The small steps, for instance, the earlier example, where making a simple choice looked like a huge war, impact our decision-making power. When we inculcate the habit of evaluating our choices and opt which benefits us in the long run, it becomes simpler to choose an alternative in a spontaneous situation, since our mind has been habituated to react in a particular pattern.

Similarly, having control over our reactions is a process toward self-empowerment. Initially, it might look tough, but over time it is one of the greatest forms of self-mastery. We hold the key to our reactions and yet tend to give it away in an unlikely situation. For example, how to be poised in an argument or how to subtly accept rejection, might be tough for some people to follow. Under such circumstances, it is recommended to mentally take a step back and observe the emotions that unravel. How do you feel? Angry? Disdained? Provoked? Furious? Acknowledge it. Let this phase pass until you know these emotions don’t do the talking. This helps in separating the real you from the current state of your mind which would be a roller coaster of sentiments. Once you rise above these sentiments, you decide how to give an effective response, which is appropriate for that particular situation. You have to take that call. Self-Confidence makes you feel more in control of the situation you are in and also life, in general.  

Stressed Girl
Stressed Girl

Once you acknowledge the small areas which need work, you can start experiencing resistance from your mind to accept the change. Fight it. But once you overcome this resistance, the empowered feeling pushes you farther to become a better version of yourself. 

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Dr. Bob Singhal

Professor Bhupendra 'Bob' Singhal, has taught creativity by joy and right-brain thinking, is a renowned international architect, won major design competitions, has over 70 awards, publications, and media mentions, and served as President of the American Institute of Architects South Bay. In 2011, in his book Joy in Health and Happiness: Your Optimal Path to Success, Professor Singhal wrote about the transformative power of joy and helped readers learn to enhance their daily experience of it.


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