Heartbreak is noteasy. The death of a loved one, losing a romantic relationship, or even losing a jobcan leave you heartbroken. Although heartbreak is associated with psychological factors like sadness, grief and loss; studies prove it has physical symptoms too including: crying, a tight and heavy chest, loss of appetite, dizziness, shortness of breath and disturbed sleep.
In biological terms, all the unwanted symptoms of heartbreak are the result of stress hormones which rush into our brain and body. The most common are cortisol, adrenaline and nor-adrenaline which overpass the levels of happy hormones: serotonin and oxytocin. Being in a state of stress affects the body negatively, but to know how to heal a broken heart, first it’s important to know the stages of it.
Stages of Heartbreak:
AMBIVALENCE
One finds themselves wondering if they did the right thing and may experience a sea of nostalgia.
DENIAL AND SHOCK
Denial serves as a protective shield which keeps intense emotions and pain away. The person may often try to distract themselves with work and other responsibilities.
ANGER
In this stage, one feels intensely hurt and full of anger. Finding a healthy way to release anger, such as exercising or screaming into a pillow is important to do during this time when you are feeling full of rage.
NEGOTIATION
One will want to regain the bond by compromising with their personal values and boundaries.
DEPRESSION
The old memories and reminders will be overwhelming and make it difficult for the individual to function. They may experience feelings of hopelessness, loss of appetite and social withdrawal.
ACCEPTANCE
This is the healing stage wherein, the person is starting to get closure and learning how to move forward.
7 STEPS TO OVERCOME HEARTBREAK
Healing a broken heart takes time and effort, but these practical steps can help one to accelerate the healing process and accept the situation.
VALIDATE YOUR EMOTIONS
Pretending you are OK will only intensifysadness. So, if one allows themselves to feel sad and cry out in pain, it is an honor to their emotions and will help in the healing process.
BE EXPRESSIVE OF YOUR FEELINGS
Considering your thoughts and expressing them to others should be done. For instance, you may not be up to join a birthday celebration with your friends. Don’t be apprehensive in sharing what is going on inside because it is important to communicate how you feel and who knows? They may also have felt the same way at some point and be able to provide valuable perspective.
SELF CARE
A heartbroken individual feels as if their whole world has shattered, but life stops for no one. This grief and sorrow has to be replaced with joy again. So, make time for self-enquiry and find new sources of joy, peace and inspiration. Initially, one may not feel like doing anything but pushing oneself to do new things will make them feel better later on.
SELF COMPASSION
During this time, a person may start to feel self-guilt or self-pity. When one is feeling low, they should make a list of all the good things they did for others, why people like them, and what they like about themselves. The more one appreciates themselves, the better they will feel. Saying positive self-affirmations can help one overcome heartbreak too, such as:
I am enough
My love is selfless
There is no wrong decision
TRY EXERCISE AND MEDITATION
Sweating out with exercisehelps a lot in managing stress. So, use exercise as a healthy outlet to manage your feelings. Mindfulness exercises, like meditation and yoga, are very effective in helping with heartbreaks. They help one to sit with their negative emotions, eventually leading to feelings of safety, comfort and love.
DO NOT LEAN ON SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
Limit taking the advice others offer them. Yes, leaning on friends and family is important for love and support but too much advice can be dizzying. People speak from their own experience so what worked for them may or may not work for you. It’s better to seek a therapist to have a more experienced and neutral guide through the process of healing pain.
DO NOT ENGAGE IN UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
Drugs, alcohol and smoking are all terrible things to do when you are coping. Unhealthy patterns during a time of weakness can also lead to deadly addictions. Always avoid substance use when you are in deep pain.
CONCLUSION
Remember, healing from heartbreaks should never be rushed, but it’s important not to dwell in the past.Follow these steps to navigate you through the healing process as it will eventually help you heal from the pain.
Download the JOYSCORE app for more healing tips.
FAQ’S
Q1 Why do people suffer with low self esteem after a heartbreak?
A1 A heartbreak often comes with the loss of a relationship or a job. So, it can also mean the loss of dreams, routines and perhaps a sense of security. This is altogether a deeply hurtful experience and often results in low self esteem.
Q2 What are the stages of healing a heartbreak?
A2 The recovery time and healing stages of a broken heart varies from person to person as per their tolerance, depth of relationships and support system. However, the model of stages tends to remain the same: ambivalence, denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance. Altogether, it’s the path to transit into a new reality and move forward.
Q3 How does self care make healing from a heartbreak easier?
A3 Self care means to treat oneself with compassion and respect boundaries, including:
One allows themselves to feel sad and cry out the pain
Express your feelings to others
Practice self love and compassion toward yourself
