What is Anger? Why do we feel Angry? Have these questions ever crossed your mind? Anger is an intense emotion that is triggered when you feel frustrated or annoyed by something or someone. An angry person experiences signs like increased heart rate/ increased blood pressure/ and increased level of adrenaline. Anger can have various physical and mental consequences. People generally tend to spoil their relationships and make mistakes while making decisions under the influence of rage because it causes one to lose their self-controlling capacity.
People generally think of their anger as a reaction to an external factor or someone’s behavior. But they need to understand that something inside them regulates their emotions regardless of what other people do. Therefore, it is paramount to practice anger management. Practicing anger management does not imply that you will never get angry, but involves learning to identify, control, and express your anger in productive ways rather than controlling others. Anger, when left unchecked, can lead to real rage, outbursts and can be very destructive.
Continuing to hold on to your anger is like grabbing hot coal to set fire to someone else, but you are the one who gets burned. Anger management gives you the power to control the way to respond to what is happening around. Below mentioned are a few tips to maintain your calm when you feel angry-
Identify Triggers/ Signs
If you lose your temper often, take note of what triggers you to lose your calm. It can be a traffic jam, lack of sleep, offensive comments, etc. Knowing your triggers can help you deal with it better as you might practice anger management techniques before encountering such circumstances to keep you calm.
Count Down
Start counting backward from 10, and by the time you reach 1, try to calm yourself because while counting, your heart rate will slow-down, and anger will subside.
Breathing Techniques
When someone loses their temper, they tend to breathe fast. Instead, you can reverse your anger by breathing slowly, taking a deep breath, and exhaling more than inhaling.
Don’t Talk
If you speak when angry, you will deliver the best speech that you will always regret. Because you are likely to utter demeaning words that can sour your relation, therefore, try to master the skill of keeping quiet.
Positive Self-Talk
For a minute of anger, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. Don’t let the anger control you and ask yourself if this anger will help you achieve your goals. Do some positive Self-Talk and repeat positive words to your inner self like ‘Relax,’ ‘Take it easy,’ ‘I can stay calm,’ ‘I will be Fine,’ etc.
Write a Journal to Express
Suppressing your anger can harm your health. So write, whatever you cannot say, on a piece of paper and tear it away when you are fine, but don’t hand it over to the person you were angry with as it would worsen your relation.
Walking in Nature or Exercise
Taking a walk in nature calms down your tensed nerves and reduces your anger. You can also do some exercise by riding a bicycle, Jogging/ jumping on the spot, or release stress using a punching bag, etc.
Let Yourself Have a Good Cry
Holding on to your anger will hurt you and not the person you were angry with. So, feel alright to vent it out by crying. You must have heard people asking you not to cry. But at times, crying can be the best therapy to release the anger within you.
Visualize a Relaxing Experience
Sit alone in a room, close your eyes, and visualize yourself amidst any relaxing scene like mountains, a flowing river, birds chirping, etc. and focus on details.
Listen to Music/Dance It Out
Music can uplift your mood quickly. Either listen to your favorite peppy/ soothing songs as it can calm down your tensed mind. You can also dance it out as it will harness the rush of energy in your body and bring you back to normal.
Talk to a Friend
Talk it out with a friend who can give you a neutral opinion and can help you gain a different and new perspective to the situation and can be very helpful to pacify you.
Explain your Anger
Resist acting on your anger, instead explain the reason for being angry when you have attained your calm as it will help you find a solution instead of arguments.
Don’t Blame
Don’t start playing the blame game. Use ‘I’ to refer to a problem that bothered you. E.g.- ‘I am upset because you did not help me while cleaning the almirah’ rather than blaming that ‘You never help in any household chores.’
Practice Gratitude
Don’t be blinded by anger. Count your blessings and focus on what is going right instead of what is going wrong. Gratitude might help you to neutralize your angry feelings.
Divert Attention & Laugh
Anger is like a time bomb that needs to be diffused in time to prevent the aftermaths. So, try to divert your attention by playing with a pet or child or practice to laugh by watching some comedy show/ movie.
Every day we have a lot of opportunities to get angry and offended. But indulging in such negative emotions is like giving something outside yourself the power over your happiness. Everyone experiences anger, but you should know how to deal with it before it turns into aggression or outrage. Anger and intolerance are the best rivals of Forgiveness and Understanding. If someone can make you angry, it is because you are off balance with yourself. Therefore, it is crucial to learn the art of controlling your anger before it dictates the path you choose for yourself.
